The King of my Castle?

The King of my Castle?

2012 brings many changes to Galaxy Draperies, the first of which is this blog.  My hope is to inform and educate about the wonderful world of window coverings and share a little humor about things that happen throughout my daily life.

A wise and wonderful woman whom I greatly admire (and it’s not my wife) has repeatedly told me over the years that someday I will be the “King of my Castle.” Well this morning “The King” awoke to an unusual experience.

My wife’s cell phone rang at 5:45am and it was her sister telling her that their mother had taken a spill and was being taken to the hospital.  Before you get too alarmed, it turned out to be 6 stitches in the eyebrow and various bumps and bruises.  It’s nothing to scoff at, but at least no broken bones.  My wife’s last words to me as she ran out the door were, “Feed the animals! The cats now get 2 cubes of something broken up on their food.  I said, “text me the instructions so I don’t mess it up.”  She replied, “don’t be an idiot, its not rocket science.”  I will let you be the judge of that!

The cats get fed upstairs in my eldest son’s old bedroom. Their food is served in a vacated space in an armoire where a TV used to be.  Here is what I think I am supposed to do:  take a plastic grocery store bag from under the sink and a paper towel.  Wipe the spilled dry food on the ground so the dog, who is watching this whole routine, can eat it.  Refill the dry food tandem bowl.  With the paper towel, wipe the tandem moist food bowl clean.  Throw the paper towel into the grocery store bag.  Open a can of cat food (today’s selection is Grandmas Pot Pie).  Put ½ can in each bowl.  Throw the empty can in the plastic grocery bag.  Take 1 cube of Stella and Chewy’s Chick, Chick Chicken Dinner For Cats, and crumple over the top of the canned food.  Refill the water bowl.  Grab the pooper scooper and using the same plastic bag, clean the litter box.  Since the litter box gets cleaned daily, you would think (or at least I would!) that there wouldn’t be much to clean.  Surprise, surprise.  After gagging my way through, I finally managed to finish. Now out to the trash and on to the dog.

The dog gets fed downstairs in the kitchen.  Oh my, how unusual.  Her breakfast starts with a can of Wellness brand chicken stew with peas and carrots.  Sprinkle a little prozyme supplement and a scoop of plaque off powder, mix it all up, and then crumple 2 biscuits of Chewy’s Chicken Dinner For Dogs on top.  I present it to the dog, and she takes 2 sniffs and walks away unimpressed.  I then check to make sure she has enough dry kibble and fresh water.  By now the cats have come down from their breakfast upstairs, and they check out the dogs’ breakfast.  Seeing what’s going on, the dog runs back to her bowl and lets the cats know they are unwelcome.  The cats run outside, the dog takes a couple of bites, and eagerly waits for leftover scraps of whatever I am having for breakfast.  Today there was no table scraps, and as I was cleaning up and getting ready to leave for work, she stood at attention in front of the pantry.  Oh my god, I almost forgot to give her 2 jerky like strips of Happy Hips.  All I want to know is whatever happened to Friskies and Alpo.  And when my wife reads this, I’m sure she will let me know how “The King” screwed up. What does it take to do something as simple as feeding your pets these days- a degree in nutritional science? Come to think of it, I wonder what she is slipping into the meals she prepares for me!


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